job hunting

So, due to my extreme lack of motivation, I have messed up completely this semester. This leads me to taking a year off from school and getting an actual job somewhere such as Wachovia. I suppose it will be for the better. I need a year off from school to get my shit together after all that has happened this year. My mind is a constant mess filled with jumbled negative thoughts making me lazy as hell. A job that pays well will also help me move out of my parent's house. They keep talking about kicking me out and now a couple times a week I have to crash at my friends apartment. Oh well, fuck it.
There is one very simple thing that makes me happy- this new band Jordan and Nicole introduced to me - Pivot. I find myself constantly listening to the song Make Me Love You. It's so freaking good.

Pointless... but... things I want to do today:
Take pictures of the beautiful purple flowers outside of my house
Find a new book to read in my spare time
Job hunt



Another thing.. I am at Mojo cafe... and I randomly heard my alarm clock go off.. except it wasn't my phone. It was someones ring tone. I swear to god that is the most obnoxious ring tone ever. It's called 'Sunshine' and it sounds like a whole bunch of horrific trumpets. Honestly, I would not want that to be my actual alarm but I am such a heavy sleeper, it's the only thing that wakes me up. Hearing my alarm across the store freaked me out for some odd reason... I'm insane.

Fit the moment

I love how I incorporate music into everything I do. I feel like most of the time, I listen to music that fits the moment. (which can be ironically convenient) Such as the way my surroundings appear to me, a reflection on my mood, or to just chill out to. It's pure bliss. After I straightened up my room today I just loved the way everything looked and felt. I loved the way the clouds appeared and how the sun was hitting the mountains as it was setting. It was beautiful and I could not stop staring at it. Sometimes I wish I could just capture moments such as this and keep them forever.

April Fools!?

I forgot to play April Fool's jokes on people yesterday!

Rant on useless nonsense

I hate when I get home so freaking late and can't fall asleep until 4:ooAM. It's so hard for me to get on a set schedule because I can't manage my time very well. In the mornings, I love to go to Mojo to get a cup of coffee and a bagel and possibly work on some homework before class. Today, I didn't get to do any of that. I woke up at one o' clock, the time my psychology class starts... and didn't have enough time to get ready. I really wonder why I am so worthless and unmotivated 80% of the time. I have all of this homework to catch up on and I'm only taking three classes this semester. I have two tests to make up in psychology, two papers to write for English, and a shit ton of reading and questions to answer for philosophy. The reading for philosophy isn't so bad. It's the answers to the questions that are rough. There are usually five questions in a section that we read. One question is always about a page long.
Another weird thing that bothers me... when I come home, I get sick and tired of looking at my room. I almost have the urge to take all of my posters and pictures down and just rearrange the whole thing.. In the process of rearranging my entire room I'm thinking to myself, "Wow, I could have been doing homework right now... this took about three hours." In those three hours, my pathetic self could have been studying for the tests, reading, and writing my paper... I LACK MOTIVATION FOR SCHOOL WORK. (and going to class) =/
The strange thing is, in order for me to do homework and have my full attention dedicated for it... I need a change of scenery. A coffee shop is always nice (until people I know come up and talk to me... mostly regulars from the coffee shop that I work at) or my basement. I love my basement. The only thing is, my dad annoys the hell out of me! Everyday, literally, he will come up to me and talk to me how dumb of a decision it was for me to vote for Obama, how I am a horrible person for not believing in 'God', or how I should get up off my ass and drive to some disgusting fast food restaurant to get him a dead animal. Oh yeah! and while I'm at it... I will get him a 5 dollar cup of coffee. Fuck that. It happens way too much. I am not going to support him eating fast food and a large mocha. It's Horrible for you.
He uses my gas, takes my money, and lectures me because I don't believe what he believes.
You know what? Get over it.
I am my own person with my own views and just because I don't believe what he does, doesn't mean that I am a bad person. If anything, he is a bad person for inflicting his views on me.
It's so frustrating!!! I wish he would just leave me alone and accept me for who I am. I will not change for anyone. Just because I have a 'liberated mindset' as my dad will say, doesn't mean that I don't have morals in a conservative Christians eyes. Everyone has their own moral code and I am perfectly fine with the way my morals are. Yeah, I have fucked up, but who hasn't? That is how you learn. I want him to leave me the fuck alone and learn how to talk to me about something else that we won't fight over. We fight everyday.

ANYWAYS!
Enough complaining... hopefully tonight will be a bit better. As soon as my friend Josh gets off of work we are making grilled cheese. (probably a few other things) Then, we are going downtown with my friend Leandra to look at art galleries.

and after I write this... I'm going to make blueberry green tea. It's fantastic.